Monday, January 16, 2012

6 reasons why.

 I have finally heard the voice of God speaking and telling me why. A couple of months ago I acquired this passion for Africa. I fell so in love with a place that I had not thought about since I was 11 years old. I knew God wanted me there soon! I just blamed it all on my dad and it obviously wasn't his fault. No one can stand up against God!! I am going to be writing today about the main reasons why I think I am not going and the reasons I think I am ready to go.

First of all, I think God has put something inside of me that is just so amazing that makes me stand out in a crowd. I am not trying to sound all conceited but I do believe I have something special. I think one reason why he has called me to be a missionary in foreign places is because of the faith and trust I have in him through everything I do. I always have my eyes upon on Jesus and believe that it is all apart of his plan for me.
   Reason number two would be that I have the ability to love anyone, especially children. I love to spend time with people and get to know them personally. I will sit down and cry with someone about something sad or rejoice with them in times of happiness. I try my hardest not to judge people! When someone decides that they want to share their life story with me, I make a promise to myself and that person I will not judge them. If God loves them, I want to love them. I want to be like him in as many ways as possible!
  The third reason would be that I am not afraid of sharing my heart and love for Christ with someone. I am very open when it comes to my relationship with him. I love for people to know that I am in love with my savior but sometimes I think it would be better if they found on on their own by getting to know me. I love that I have that boldness about me, in some cases it can seem as if I am trying to gain fame by saying I am a Christ follower. That would be so untrue. I want to live my life in a way pleasing to him. I could not post about God on my Facebook but I want to!!! Who knows, maybe someone who is lost will see it and ask me questions about it... I love Christ and you and your comments do not bother me(:

Now moving on to why I believe I do not belong there right now....

 God is using me in such a spectacular way here in my hometown! Two of my friends have become Christians just because they saw Christ living through me! I feel that right at this very moment God wants me to stay here and live out my faith. He wants me to be stronger than I already am. He is waiting for that moment where I am so in love with him that I would be willing to give up my life for a person I do not know.
   Number 2: I am young. Not in my age but in my faith. It has only be recently since I became so involved with Christ and wanting to learn more about him. He wants me to be able to go to Africa knowing as much as someone can know about our Savior. I do not want to start talking to a person about him and hesitate on what to say! I want to know and be so excited to speak about it!
  The last reason is that I am not needed there right now. When I am needed he will call me! I need to make sure that it is God and not just something I would love to disguise as God.

I hope that God does continue to work through me and I pray that one day soon I will be getting on a plane set for Africa. I cannot wait for that day... But until then I will pray, love and desire to know him more and more. "Patience is the key" a dear friend told me... 

Saturday, January 14, 2012


Have you ever wondered the reason for storms? Yes the rain is good but if God can make A dead man live again why can't he make everything bloom? Ever wondered if a storm is God getting mad and letting it all out. My eyes are always opened up when it storms. I pray because I fear something might happen. My heart begins to ask for his presence around me. Just a thought on that. Comment what you think. 

Friday, January 13, 2012

The song I wrote.

I stand, alone, I know your there, in the silence, hear my prayer, my heart yearns to hear your voice, I listen closely block out all the noise. And I feel your presence, draw near to me! And I see you love me! all You want is me!

You are God, You never change. From yesterday to tomorrow always the same you are God, in every way! I love you forever no you never change no you never change

My journey is starting. Im running your race. Your leading me at a constant pace. You hold my hand when I in fear. You surround me, I know your near. I know your near…..

You are God, You never change. From yesterday to tomorrow always the same you are God, in every way! I love you forever you never change no you never change

My heart cries out for you!  And My soul longs to be with you. And this world you overcame, yes you overcame!!! My heart oh it cries out for you and my soul longs to be with you and this world you overcame. you  overcame

You are God. You never change. I love you forever. Always the same. You are my God yes you, you are my God.  And you never change. You. You are my, no you never change You are God, You never change. From yesterday, always the same you are God, in every  single way! I love you forever you never change no you never change
I love you forever oh oh, I love you forever, you never change, never change, you never change, never change, you never change, you are God! 

You want to hear it? Here.

I sit quietly. I tell my friend things I have never told anyone before. Tears fill my eyes. I am amazed at how my life has changed. I thank God for that. I thank God that he brought people into my life who were willing to love me and show me that I am cared for dearly. I see that all the other times I thought it was love, but it was lust. There is a huge difference once you experience both.

You want to hear my story? Here it is…

Ever since I can remember I have been a Christ follower. I was born into a very Christian family. My grandfather, dad, mom and cousins were all involved in church someway. When I got older and started at a new church I realized how crazy beautiful Christ’s love is for us. I then became so involved in church and made wonderful new friends. I got super close with some people who I thought loved me as much as I loved them… I was far off. At some points I would let them get me down and disappoint me… Our friendship was paused… I didn’t know what to do exactly because they had always been there for me.  By the time everything was somewhat normal again, I left that church… Not because I was upset, I felt led elsewhere.
    I started attending Crossroads church, place where the heart of God is so noticeable. I remember walking in for the first time and not feeling shy like all the other times. I felt loved by these people who I had never met before. The girls I had met and talked to were not my best of friends yet… I didn’t talk much around them, but I soon realized how alike we were in everyway.
   As one month went by, I loved everything God was doing in my life. He was bringing my friends to him through me. I felt used by someone who I don’t deserve to love me. I was at the happiest point in my life. I hadn’t just made friend within in MY youth group but with others. God was bringing me more people each day and I kept getting this overwhelming feeling!
   Let me tell you about this girl, this teacher, this one friend. Three different people, so different in so many ways, all seem to help me in the same way.  As school started this year I was looking for it to be scary in so many ways. I wasn’t expecting my life to change as much as it did. On the first day of school one of my teachers automatically became my favorite.  Her name is Coach Stallard. Now it is the second semester and I don’t think I have ever been so close with a teacher in my life.  I feel so comfortable talking to her. Each day after class I stay and have a quick little conversation with her. She told me at the beginning of the year these exact words “Stay true to God and you will be blessed (: “ I still remember when she told me this…. It nearly broke my heart that she loved me already enough to say something to help me get where God wants me.  It then became because of her my days were made brighter with her humor and nice short talks after class.
   Let me tell you about this girl…. How our friendship became, I am not sure.  I wouldn’t have ever imagined that she would be my best friend one day. Last year as well I had a teacher very strong in her faith in God. She let us do a bible study in her room. Of course we outgrew it the first week, but she was so willing to allow it. Her name would be Mrs. Williams. She was the sweetest of all my teachers I believe. I told her things that all my others teachers would have to wait and find out. Her daughter soon became my friend because I just loved Mrs. Williams so much and so I told her daughter so. We never really talked but I told her things about me that was very important. I still remember the excitement from both of them when I told them some very good news about myself. Mrs. Williams grabbed be so fast and hugged me… She was laughing and pretty much yelling! I forgot to mention, this was all during class… Haha! Anyways, this year I started high school and Katherine (her daughter) had just graduated! I talked to her on Facebook nearly every day for who knows how long. Soon we started texting each other and became very close friends. She attended Crossroads when she was a youthie and sill does when she is home. We became super close and I know I can trust her with my life.
   Now every day, all day, I am texting her. She knows almost everything about me. She is the only who knows things that I used to do to myself… She had something very bad happen to her at church the other night. Her heart was skipping beats and she was having trouble breathing… She scared me so much! Luckily my best friend, who I am going to tell you about, next, was standing there next to me allowing me to squeeze her to death and let my tears fall on her. Soon I was unable to stand up. I had to sit down because I was shaking so bad. I prayed to God!!! She is ok now; I have not stopped thanking God for the past two days! :D Lets just say, she is my big sister, best friend and someone who I will get to spend eternity with!
   This next person I am going to tell you about has a past… Her reputation isn’t the best but I love her to the end of the earth and back. Her name is Carlee Cloud. My best friend of all time she would be.  We have grown so much together in our relationship with Christ. I am so happy she is in my life and I can call her my sister.

This is pretty much my story in 1000 words. God has brought me through so much. I realize the people I have in my life now truly love me and will always be there. It’s all-real this time… Now I see why I had to lose all the others. I am here now. In love with a savior. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

God is bigger.

It has been quite awhile since I wrote but tonight something very bad happened.... During church one of my best friends started having heart problems. I was scared, no one knew what was happening but God. She rested and a nurse that is in our church checked her out. She was fine and pretty normal... Then it all struck again. This time they decided it was a good idea to take her to the hospital. While she was there they ran test. They all came back normal! Was this just something God did to open our eyes? Why did this have to happen..
   I am not sure why it happened but it did. I cannot stop thanking God right now. This could have turned out very very bad. But it didn't! God is in control. Many people are praying for her. I love her very much and God has blessed me beyond words. Sorry this is short. I am very tired! 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Worldly love, Eternal Death

I look at the children in Africa and I wonder.... I wonder the reason for their happiness when they have nothing. Wait a minute... They have love. The love of Christ Jesus our savior! In John it talks about gaining the whole world but losing your soul. These people, the children, in Africa have everything they will ever need! They do not need the things of this world to be happy. A rich man dies in his loneliness because all his friends forsake Him. They leave him with his selfish soul to live his life alone. The poor man lives a life of happiness with joy coming from the Lord; The great provider!!
   One day in my geography class, which I speak often of, we were talking about Latin America. Somehow by the end of class Coach Stallard was talking about the pictures she see's of the children in Africa smiling. FYI: her daughter is a missionary there! Luckily the bell rang then because I was about to start crying!
     In this world we seem to think we need this new game or this huge house to be happy. In our lives we live daily believing money can buy everything, even our happiness and love! That is not true. If you want to feel pure joy and holy love, accept Christ into your life! The African people are a great example of how money is not needed to smile and love your life.
   Yes, they do wish they had things like a nice home... But that is completely different from the American wants. We want things we do not need.... They want things that they do need like food, clothes, shoes, a home!!! How come? Our culture has come to this theory, bigger is better! "Oh well you don't have the new iPhone, your poor. Go away. " we have become a mean people. I believe that The United States and Asia need missionaries more than any place on this whole planet. They base their lives upon objects; idols!

I want to ask that as you read my blog and as you see that things of this world are not important, pray that your wants will go away. I struggle with this myself. I am 15 years old for crying out loud! I want makeup, a car, new clothes, things I don't need!!!! Nobody is perfect and who knows, you may not want to be happy with what you have. Go right ahead and spend your money on worthless things that will soon perish. In the end all you will have is your money... Yup, that's it!
   If you are not this person, pray for this type of person! Change the world!!!!!

Last note: there are over 300 young adult missionaries are in South Africa, Mexico, and Panama. They need prayers that God will move! They need prayers for safety! They need prayers for comfort as they journey out!!! Also there are SERVE: groups out and have been for about 4 months now. They are probably missing their families; vise versa. Pray for comfort and that God would continue to do the work he is doing in the lives of both the missionaries and the people of Africa, India, all over the world!

Thanks guys! (: