Friday, January 13, 2012

You want to hear it? Here.

I sit quietly. I tell my friend things I have never told anyone before. Tears fill my eyes. I am amazed at how my life has changed. I thank God for that. I thank God that he brought people into my life who were willing to love me and show me that I am cared for dearly. I see that all the other times I thought it was love, but it was lust. There is a huge difference once you experience both.

You want to hear my story? Here it is…

Ever since I can remember I have been a Christ follower. I was born into a very Christian family. My grandfather, dad, mom and cousins were all involved in church someway. When I got older and started at a new church I realized how crazy beautiful Christ’s love is for us. I then became so involved in church and made wonderful new friends. I got super close with some people who I thought loved me as much as I loved them… I was far off. At some points I would let them get me down and disappoint me… Our friendship was paused… I didn’t know what to do exactly because they had always been there for me.  By the time everything was somewhat normal again, I left that church… Not because I was upset, I felt led elsewhere.
    I started attending Crossroads church, place where the heart of God is so noticeable. I remember walking in for the first time and not feeling shy like all the other times. I felt loved by these people who I had never met before. The girls I had met and talked to were not my best of friends yet… I didn’t talk much around them, but I soon realized how alike we were in everyway.
   As one month went by, I loved everything God was doing in my life. He was bringing my friends to him through me. I felt used by someone who I don’t deserve to love me. I was at the happiest point in my life. I hadn’t just made friend within in MY youth group but with others. God was bringing me more people each day and I kept getting this overwhelming feeling!
   Let me tell you about this girl, this teacher, this one friend. Three different people, so different in so many ways, all seem to help me in the same way.  As school started this year I was looking for it to be scary in so many ways. I wasn’t expecting my life to change as much as it did. On the first day of school one of my teachers automatically became my favorite.  Her name is Coach Stallard. Now it is the second semester and I don’t think I have ever been so close with a teacher in my life.  I feel so comfortable talking to her. Each day after class I stay and have a quick little conversation with her. She told me at the beginning of the year these exact words “Stay true to God and you will be blessed (: “ I still remember when she told me this…. It nearly broke my heart that she loved me already enough to say something to help me get where God wants me.  It then became because of her my days were made brighter with her humor and nice short talks after class.
   Let me tell you about this girl…. How our friendship became, I am not sure.  I wouldn’t have ever imagined that she would be my best friend one day. Last year as well I had a teacher very strong in her faith in God. She let us do a bible study in her room. Of course we outgrew it the first week, but she was so willing to allow it. Her name would be Mrs. Williams. She was the sweetest of all my teachers I believe. I told her things that all my others teachers would have to wait and find out. Her daughter soon became my friend because I just loved Mrs. Williams so much and so I told her daughter so. We never really talked but I told her things about me that was very important. I still remember the excitement from both of them when I told them some very good news about myself. Mrs. Williams grabbed be so fast and hugged me… She was laughing and pretty much yelling! I forgot to mention, this was all during class… Haha! Anyways, this year I started high school and Katherine (her daughter) had just graduated! I talked to her on Facebook nearly every day for who knows how long. Soon we started texting each other and became very close friends. She attended Crossroads when she was a youthie and sill does when she is home. We became super close and I know I can trust her with my life.
   Now every day, all day, I am texting her. She knows almost everything about me. She is the only who knows things that I used to do to myself… She had something very bad happen to her at church the other night. Her heart was skipping beats and she was having trouble breathing… She scared me so much! Luckily my best friend, who I am going to tell you about, next, was standing there next to me allowing me to squeeze her to death and let my tears fall on her. Soon I was unable to stand up. I had to sit down because I was shaking so bad. I prayed to God!!! She is ok now; I have not stopped thanking God for the past two days! :D Lets just say, she is my big sister, best friend and someone who I will get to spend eternity with!
   This next person I am going to tell you about has a past… Her reputation isn’t the best but I love her to the end of the earth and back. Her name is Carlee Cloud. My best friend of all time she would be.  We have grown so much together in our relationship with Christ. I am so happy she is in my life and I can call her my sister.

This is pretty much my story in 1000 words. God has brought me through so much. I realize the people I have in my life now truly love me and will always be there. It’s all-real this time… Now I see why I had to lose all the others. I am here now. In love with a savior. 

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